The Terminally Ill Nobleman is the Mad Dog of the Underworld

[Translator - Pot]

[Proofreader - Kawaii]

Chapter 76: Do You Miss Your Mother?

At the unexpected words, I held my breath and raised my head.

‘Damn it.’

Stars were reflected in Duke Georg’s golden eyes.

A sense of vastness, as if I were being sucked into the Milky Way spread across the endless night sky.

I gritted my teeth.

‘Is he asking this knowing everything? Or is he probing to see if there’s something suspicious?’

I felt as if my fate would be decided depending on how I judged this.

‘This is disconcerting.’

Faced with a sudden life-or-death choice, I calmed my mind.

“Father. As my brother Verdzig advised, I thought I also needed secrets and shadows.”

“Why?”

I looked straight at Duke Georg’s face and said.

“I believe that those who only look at the light of the sun understand only half of the world’s true nature.”

The Duke rested his chin on his hand and looked at me.

“Continue.”

“However, I couldn’t accept it at face value. Because I suspected that, given my brother’s disposition, he might have set some kind of trap there.”

“Was there any basis for that?”

“If intuition and inference can be considered as a basis, then yes.”

From the Duke’s tone, I concluded that this was a probe. If so, I wouldn’t become a pathetic man confessing something I wasn’t even asked about.

“And through the ‘method of using mana threads senses’ that sister Ulbhild taught me, I realized that some foreign magic was hidden inside that mask.”

The Duke leaned towards me.

“You’re a genius. And then?”

From this point on, I had to choose. Should I tell the truth and raise suspicion, or should I hide the truth for now and bear the risk of it being revealed later?

“Having realized it was a poisoned chalice, I intend to keep it until a good way to neutralize it arises.”

My choice this time was also to hide the truth.

“Is that so.”

My father looked at me.

“It seems there’s something more you’re hiding.”

At these words, I retorted rather brazenly.

“It’s natural for children to have more secrets from their parents as they grow up.”

Of course, I swallowed the words ‘Just as you, a parent, do.’

“……”

The Duke’s gaze was like an abyss. However, I would believe that my answer was the right course of action.

“You’re handling things well.”

See, it seemed I was right after all.

“But you’re quite composed in front of me.”

“It’s only natural since I’m in front of my father.”

“Funny fellow. I heard you were quite a reckless fool at that evening’s banquet.”

At those words, I felt slightly awkward.

“Did you do that on purpose? To not be overwhelmed by pressure, or perhaps as a declaration of war?”

“A declaration of war? Would I have the capacity to do such a thing?”

“You did it because you had the capacity.”

“That’s, hmm. Now that I think about it, that’s true.”

The Duke seemed quite surprised by my nonchalant attitude.

“Allen. Are you not afraid of me?”

“How could a son be afraid of his father?”

“You were the son who feared this father more than anyone.”

“I was foolish.”

“Foolish?”

I didn’t miss the strange light that appeared in the Duke’s eyes.

“Grunewald is a great Clan. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call it a small royal family. As the Clan leading the duchy, it is only right that the Clan laws are strict and the head of the Clan’s authority is absolute.”

This was both a rebuke to the Allenvert of seven years ago and an excuse to shield him.

“Because I was young and foolish, I had the capacity of a commoner… I arbitrarily expected the kind of warmth that exists between parents and children in ordinary families, and then arbitrarily felt distance from you.”

This was the ‘official’ answer that Allenvert Grunewald, the fourth son, gave to the head of the Clan, Duke Georg Grunewald. I intended to put the past behind me with this.

“…How absurd. When did your eloquence improve so much?”

This answer seemed to be very impressive to Duke Georg. He emptied his wine glass once more, then, looking at the red wine I poured for him, suddenly opened his mouth.

“…Allen.”

“Yes.”

“Even now, as the lord and head of the Clan, I believe my method of discipline was the best.”

What change of heart had my answer caused in him? I respectfully clasped my hands together as I waited for his next words.

“However, as a father, I think a little differently. In that process, some became rough in temperament, some were called good-for-nothings, and some…”

The Duke pointed at me.

“…Chose the path of slowly dying, having given up all will to live. If I don’t feel any remorse about this, I would have already abandoned my human heart.”

It was surprising. I had just realized that the Duke was also a human made of flesh and blood.

‘It’s obvious when you think about it.’

When the dignity a human possesses is excessive, one tends to forget even the obvious facts. I pondered what the best answer I could give him as a son would be.

“However, as a ruler, as a man who manages this vast duchy and is responsible for the lives of hundreds of thousands, You will not regret or retract your past choices. That is what you feel, Father, is it not?”

“…You.”

He said the exact same words as Ulbhild.

“To think you understand my heart.”

“I know that every human has their own cross to bear. Just as I finally shook myself off after bearing my own cross, you, Father, should remain as you are now—”

I paused for a moment and then, looking around the warehouse filled with the scent of maturing wine, said.

“—As a powerful and thorough ruler.”

A bitter expression appeared on the Duke’s face. It was as if he were saying. In the end, you will also treat me like that.

“Yes. That is the path I have chosen.”

“However.”

I said, as if embracing his disappointment.

“One day, this son intends to grow and take over that burden. Wouldn’t that be true filial piety?”

“What? Hahahaha!”

I swear, it was the first time I had seen ‘my father’ laugh.

‘…Father?’

I was quite taken aback by the fact that I had thought of this man as my father.

Karzan only had parents who had passed away too early, and a grandfather who had taken their place.

But it was a new realization that Allenvert only had this one man as his father.

‘Even though my memories are gone, Allenvert’s soul and heart have been longing for this man.’

“Allenvert. You have truly changed a lot.”

“I simply underwent a change of heart after going through a near-death experience.”

“Good. But the incurable disease remaining in your body is still there. Knowing you have a limited time to live, do you still intend to keep your flame of life burning?”

“I’ll try everything I can. Whether it’s finding Ereshkigal, or becoming stronger by mastering martial arts and learning to control that energy.”

My answer was the same.

“And besides, all humans have a limited time to live. The only difference is how long or short that time is.”

“Allen. If you truly intend to become a fiercely burning flame, if you intend to use hope and will as fuel instead of despair—”

My father pointed at me.

“This father will grant you one wish. Tell me what you desire.”

He lowered his voice and asked as if whispering.

“Do you miss your mother? Even a wish to see your mother, I would duly grant it.”

“……!”

Why did Allenvert’s heart ache so painfully at just that name? I couldn’t help but deeply feel the pain and poignancy of familial affection.

However, look at my father’s cold gaze. I felt a chill as if a knife had been placed against my throat in an instant.

It was such a change in attitude that it made the first connection we had just shared as father and son seem insignificant.

‘Duke Georg, You’re truly a terrifying man.’

To see my mother, I would need his permission. And young Allenvert must have requested it many times.

‘The one who refused it wouldn’t have been just my mother.’

If he truly wanted it, even my mother wouldn’t have been able to refuse the order until the end.

‘But I know.’

What this man wants from me is ‘greed to keep climbing higher.’ not the image of ‘a fool who throws away a good opportunity because of his longing for his mother.’

He is looking for a true lion to succeed him.

‘Then the answer I must give is probably clear.’

I look at my father’s scrutinizing eyes.

“I……”

With the feeling of walking barefoot on a tightrope connecting two cliffs, I opened my mouth.

***

“I will take my leave. Please sleep peacefully.”

Click, click, click.

The elderly head maid left the hallway with the same unchanging sound of her heels.

Creak.

The door opened, and a hand as white as if it had never seen sunlight picked up a note.

-Young Master Allen has been summoned by the head of the Clan and had a private meeting.

As soon as she read the short sentence written on the note, Lusatia Grunewald, the fourth consort, gritted her teeth and muttered with a voice filled with hatred.

“Now, of all times?”

After abandoning him for so long? Without ever coming to see him even once, without a single excuse or apology.

‘……To that poor child.’

Lusatia tore up the note.

***

‘He asked if I wanted to see my mother?’

Of course. The throbbing in my chest proves it. ‘I’ Allenvert, want to see my mother. I want to escape from the seven years of loneliness that separated us.

‘But not now.’

I am an emotional human, but I don’t ignore the voice of reason.

Now, let’s organize my thoughts. After hearing my words, in which I said I understood his position, father said.

“To think you understand my heart.”

In short.

‘If I am swayed by familial affection and human sentiment and lose sight of what is more important, it means I am not qualified to succeed father and rule this vast duchy.’

Why is that?

Because what Allenvert Grunewald needs most right now is not ‘meeting his mother,’ but gaining the power to change the already lagging and disadvantageous succession competition.

‘Only if I can make such judgments and put them into action…’

Can I truly be called a man who understands his father and possesses comparable abilities to him.

“Allen. Speak.”

As if he interpreted my silence as hesitation, he urged me.

“Do you want to see your mother?”

Damn it.

‘This is a blatant attempt to bait me.’n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

I will not become prey caught in a trap because I couldn't resist the bait.

“Father, I… desire greater teachings. I want to master all of the Clan’s martial arts and demonstrate my abilities in more lands of opportunity.”

“……”

My father nodded, with an expression that seemed both satisfied and surprised by my answer.

“You’ve truly changed. Did you learn the art of imperial rule somewhere by yourself?”

I lowered my head without speaking.

“Good. If that is what you desire.”

He raised an invisible force and lifted my chin. My face was lifted by an unseen hand.

‘Crazy.’

What kind of power is this?

This is a level far beyond Ulbhild’s trick which senses the presence of things.

“It’s time for you to receive proper training. I will assign a proper master to you.”

I know that the master my father is talking about has already been decided. I also know that he went to Ludan to investigate my actions.

“Understood. When will it be?”

“Why drag it out? Starting tomorrow.”

The smile that appeared on his face indicated that the conclusion of this meeting was a pass.

“Thank you, Father.”

That was all I could say. Ah, to think the great Karzan would become such a humble boy. It seems I’ve lived a long life and seen quite a few things.

“Do your best.”

That advice was quite meaningful.

***

Allenvert returned to the annex with Jeffrey’s escort, along with Olivier and Peter.

“…It seems he is gone.”

The head butler had enhanced his hearing and listened to the entire conversation between the two. Of course, this was done with the head of the Clan’s prior permission.

“Yes. He is gone.”

Looking back at his brothers, Somerset received a score that was practically failing at this stage, while Karl received a decent score. Ulbhild had declared from the beginning that she had no intention of becoming a successor…

Verdzig, despite his personal instability, received a near-perfect score.

‘And Young Master Allenvert.’

He, despite the disadvantage of a seven-year absence and virtually no support from his maternal Clan…

“Head Butler.”

“Yes, Your Grace”

“You were right. Your insight was correct, I say.”

Look at the smile that appeared on Georg’s face as he continuously drank the wine, as if taste and flavor didn’t matter anymore. It was an expression that even Aiden, who had served him his entire life, rarely saw a few times a year.

And so, Aiden, rather pathetically forgetting his age…

“Are you… crying?”

Aiden dabbed at his eyes with a handkerchief.

“As I’ve gotten older, my sensibilities have become richer.”

“Goodness. It seems both you and I have aged quite a bit.”

At the Duke’s human side, which he wouldn’t normally show, Aiden cautiously revealed his own inner thoughts.

“While I inwardly considered Young Master Allenvert’s seven years of seclusion to be pitiful, I was truly heartbroken at the sight of a boy broken by an unbearable tragedy.”

The Duke nodded.

“Of course. You and Allen are practically like uncle and nephew.”

“However, as the Head Butler, it was my duty to follow your will.”

Wasn’t Allenvert Grunewald a name that was gradually being forgotten?

“To think that he would now rise on his own and show such a dignified appearance.”

Aiden folded his handkerchief and put it in his pocket and smiled.

“Your Grace. Children grow up so quickly that they often surprise their elders.”

“Of course.”

“He passed the first test well. Now, let’s see how he passes the next stage of verification.”

“It won’t be easy. Especially since you’ve assigned that man.”

“…Indeed.”

However, the very existence of that man was also proof of the great expectations that Duke Georg held for his prodigal son.

‘He was too kind and gentle to be called a prodigal son.’

The Duke thought.

‘…But to think that such a kind fellow would become such a slightly crazy madman with that look in his eyes.’

Fever is such a terrible disease.

‘Lusatia.’

He thought of his wife, whom he hadn’t seen for seven years.

‘I won’t make excuses. But I don’t have the face to ask for your forgiveness.’

Today, Georg, for the first time in a long while, briefly put down the hearts of the Duke and the head of the Clan and was immersed in the sorrow of a father and husband.

“Your Grace, you’re drinking too much.”

“Please understand today.”

Georg waved his hand. The door of the warehouse, which no one had touched, opened on its own.

Whoosh—A sea breeze carrying the moonlight blew in. The scent of grass, the salty smell, the scent of grapes, the smell of earth… The Duke, who was feeling the imagery of so many smells, chuckled.

‘What a remarkable fellow.’

To find all those scents in a single glass of wine.

‘A genius is a genius.’

Just as grapes ripen in the moonlight, the night also deepened.

[Translator - Pot]

[Proofreader - Kawaii]