Chapter 207: Arwin’s True Feelings (4)
Arwin gazed at the frozen Berg and continued speaking.
“How could I ever forget you?”
“…”
“…How could I ever let you go?”
“…”
“…The happiest moments of my life were with you...”
As her eyes dropped from Berg’s face, Arwin’s voice trembled.
She was afraid—afraid to keep gauging his reaction.
Perhaps it was nervousness.
This was the most important moment of her life. She was offering Berg the greatest gift she could give, yet she couldn’t help but feel uneasy.Arwin clung to past conversations to persuade him.
“Berg, do you remember what you said when we parted ways?”
Even recalling those painful memories made her heart ache.
“…That maybe we weren’t meant to be. That a short-lived species and a long-lived one like us should go our separate ways.”
“…”
Biting her lip, Arwin spoke with determination.
“…But if I could give you my lifespan, that problem would disappear. I’m saying I can make our lifespans match.”
She began whispering words of hope to him.
“We could spend centuries together. Visit the sea we once saw. Stand together in the rain in the forest, like before... Travel to new places…”
She clenched her fists tightly, her heartfelt plea filling the air. If only these dreams of happiness could come true, it would feel like a miracle.
“…And then, after feeling endless joy together, we could close our eyes on the same day. Whispering to each other that it was a good life… as we say our final goodbyes.”
Swallowing her fear, Arwin lifted her gaze back to Berg.
She even mustered a smile for him.
“Isn’t it a beautiful idea? To live the life you were meant to, and then, as a bonus, spend the rest of it with me. Berg, I know you don’t hate me anymore. You even still care for Ner, don’t you?”
“…”
“…I know that your feelings for me couldn’t be any less.”
Arwin hinted at the moments she had glimpsed through her bluebird.
While she couldn’t fully read his thoughts, there were times when it seemed like he missed them.
Sitting alone in places where they used to walk together... or standing in the rain, letting it drench him, once or twice.
Arwin pleaded, her voice trembling.
“So, please, cherish your life. You still have hundreds of years left ahead of you. Even if you run now, there will be another chance—”
“—Arwin.”
Berg interrupted her.
Arwin froze at the sound of his voice.
“…”
After cutting her off, Berg fell silent for a moment. He even sighed, as if deeply contemplating something.
Finally, in a soft voice, he spoke.
“…I’ll be honest with you.”
“…”
“…Yes, it’s not a bad story. Spending a long life with someone, finding happiness together over the years.”
His voice carried the weight of exhaustion.
“Traveling… creating memories. It does sound good.”
For a moment, he seemed to share her longing for such a life.
Arwin, seeing a glimmer of hope, raised her voice excitedly.
“Then…!”
“—But.”
Once again, Berg sharply cut her off.
Arwin’s heart pounded in her chest, threatening to burst. Anxiety swirled within her as she listened to his next words.
Berg turned to look straight at her.
“…But it can’t be.”
“…What?”
Arwin doubted her ears.
The dream she had nurtured for two years shattered in an instant, leaving only an empty void in her mind.
Berg shook his head.
“…No, Arwin. I… I have no intention of taking your lifespan.”
“…”
Arwin didn’t know how to respond. The very foundation of her hopes crumbled.
Desperate to understand, she asked,
“Is… is it because you feel guilty? Oh, no, Berg… I truly want to give it to you…”
“It’s not that.”
Her lips quivered as she pressed him further.
“Then… what reason could you possibly have for refusing? Berg, some people would give anything just to live a few more years. They pray to gods, delve into magic… But here I am, offering you centuries, and yet… why? Why would you refuse?”
“It’s not that I hate living longer.”
Berg’s answer came quietly.
“…But I… I don’t have the strength to keep living after everyone I love is gone.”
Berg’s hand brushed the gravestone of Captain Adam before him.
His gaze traveled beyond, to the countless graves stretching endlessly behind it.
“The same goes for my comrades. For Sien. For the child about to be born.”
His lips tightened before he continued.
“…Even Ner. If all the people I cherish were to leave me, life would lose all its meaning.”
Looking at Arwin, Berg spoke with finality.
“…Arwin. Such a life would be a curse for me.”
“…”
The resolve in his words hit Arwin like a wall. She couldn’t find the words to change his mind.
She had lived solely for this dream until now.
Her longing to live happily with Berg had kept her going.
She had endured the daily sacrificial rituals, all for this hope.
But now, all her dreams were shattered.
Tears fell helplessly from her eyes.
Drip, drip…
Had the past two years been wasted?
Had even the brief moments she spent with Berg been in vain?
Berg spoke again, his voice resolute.
“…I don’t want to live in a world without the people I love.”
Arwin stared at him blankly before whispering.
“…Then what about me?”
Her breath came out heavier, warmer, like it carried her breaking heart.
“…What about me, who will have to live in this world for a thousand years after you’re gone?”
“…”
Berg didn’t respond.
For the first time in her life, Arwin began to feel that her long lifespan was a curse.
The thought of life without Berg terrified her.
The truth was, no one could understand Berg’s words better than she could.
Because she too couldn’t imagine living in a world without him.
Berg wrestled with his thoughts before speaking quietly.
“…Arwin. Maybe it’s time for you to let me go—”
“—Aaaaah!!!”
Before he could finish, Arwin covered her ears and screamed.
The overwhelming helplessness and despair threatened to drive her mad.
Tears streamed endlessly down her face.
Sob… sob…
Berg fell silent at the sight of her anguish.
Through her tears, Arwin whispered desperately, pleading with him.
“…No… Berg… Please…”
“…”
But Berg showed no sign of changing his mind.
For a long time, Arwin sat there silently, tears falling. Then, slowly, she stood up.
She couldn’t bear to stay here any longer.
Turning away, she ran.
She didn’t know how to process this unbearable emotion.
****
I replayed Arwin’s words in my mind.
She had said she still loved me.
She wanted to transfer her lifespan to me so we could live together.
“…”
Had she been hiding her true feelings all this time because of that plan?
How long had she been holding on to that thought?
I couldn’t begin to fathom the emotions behind her decision.
For an elf—especially one who had suffered so much and longed for freedom—to offer her lifespan to someone else was unthinkable.
And yet, she had said it.
She had envisioned a future where we would spend centuries together.
She had chosen to give up hundreds of years of her life just to live by my side.
Her devotion filled me with both gratitude and sadness.
A heavy sigh escaped me.
Her words echoed in my mind, refusing to leave.
“…What about me, who will have to live in this world for a thousand years after you’re gone?”
What would I have done in her place?
If I had to live for a thousand years after everyone I loved was gone… would I have been able to stay sane?
Looking back, I could finally understand why long-lived species often avoided connections with short-lived ones.
Because if they didn’t, situations like this could arise.
“…Haa.”
At the same time, I thought about Arwin’s plea for me to run.
Even the small risks I took seemed unbearable for her.
I looked out from the second floor of Adam’s house, watching the town below.
Refugees were pouring into Stockpin.
Seeing them only tightened the grip of inevitability around my throat.
One way or another, the moment of decision was approaching.
.
.
.
.
A few more days had passed.
The presence of Krund was casting an even stronger shadow over us.
Endless streams of refugees poured into Stockpin.
There were no limits to the types of people arriving.
Lizardmen, dwarves, catfolk—beings we’d rarely encounter in ordinary circumstances.
“…The numbers are increasing too fast,” Baran said to me.
We stood together, watching the various races that now crowded the streets.
With the growing number of people entering the village, concerns about disease outbreaks also began to rise.
“…”
But we couldn’t drive them away.
At first, these strangers had been a source of unease. Yet, seeing the children among the refugees made it impossible to harden our hearts.
These people had come to us in search of survival. How could we cruelly push them away?
As we stayed among them, their voices reached us.
Refugees had fled here for countless reasons.
“Our entire army was wiped out by Krund. After just a few deaths, we were completely paralyzed with fear.”
“At least your territory fought back. Our lord ran away with the army.”
“That’s what nobles are, isn’t it? They only care about their own lives… People like us don’t matter to them.”
“I can’t entirely blame them. What’s the point of continuing a hopeless fight? Running away was probably the only option. And now, here we are, fleeing as well…”
“Captain!”
As I listened silently, Burns approached us.
Having recovered from the plague, he was back on duty.
At the moment, Burns was tasked with patrolling the outskirts of the village.
I wondered what new rumors he might have brought this time.
Panting from his run, he called out urgently.
“Captain, a noble family has appeared on the outskirts of the territory. They’ve brought an army with them.”
I raised an eyebrow, questioning him.
“…An army?”
“They call themselves the Tons family… I don’t know much about them. They’re dwarves.”
“…”
I exchanged a glance with Baran, then nodded, preparing to go meet them.
.
.
.
The Tons Family
The Tons family seemed intent on exchanging a few words with us before moving on.
A dwarf with a white beard, who appeared to be the head of the Tons family, rode up to us.
Behind him were hundreds of soldiers, standing in orderly formation.
I didn’t bother dismounting as I faced him.
“I am Berg Reiker,” I introduced myself.
“I know. The Hero of the Humans,” he replied calmly.
“…”
“My name is Borz Tons. I’ve stopped briefly to discuss a few matters with you.”
I nodded and listened as Borz continued.
“…You must already be aware that Krund is approaching.”
“Yes,” I replied.
“…That is why we’re fleeing. We don’t have the strength to face Krund.”
“…”
He was one of the leaders who had already chosen to run—a decision that, perhaps, made sense.
Then, with a faint grimace, he added,
“You might not have heard, but the Demon King’s right hand is now within ten days’ reach of this region. Soon, the land will be laid to waste and turned upside down.”
“…”
“Sir Reiker, but what I find curious is this: why aren’t you running?”
“…”
“The King has surely advised you to gather in the capital. Why haven’t you joined forces there with the others?”
I glanced at the army behind Borz and asked,
“…Are you heading to the capital now?”
“Yes. It’s the safest course of action,” he affirmed.
“…What about your people?”
Behind him, I saw mostly soldiers—few common folk from his territory. It looked more like an expeditionary force than a fleeing populace.
“…”
Borz fell silent for a moment.
His pause told me more than his words could have.
Eventually, he offered a weak justification.
“…If we survive first, we can rebuild later. If the lord falls, the entire family is doomed.”
“…”
“So, answer me. Are you planning to fight here, Sir Reiker?”
“…”
“…Let me tell you this: you cannot win.”
He spoke coldly, as if delivering an undeniable fact.
Then he offered the information he clearly thought would sway me.
“You’ve fought Krund’s forces before, haven’t you? You must know. Do as His Majesty commands and gather in the capital. Let’s combine our armies and move together.”
“…”
I finally understood Borz’s motives.
It wasn’t pure goodwill that brought him here.
It seemed fear drove him—fear of traveling alone, fear of leaving his people behind, or fear of enemies he might encounter on the road to the capital.
Whatever the reason, it was clear that his approach was not entirely altruistic.
“…”
Still, I found myself hesitating—not because I wanted to align with him, but because the moment of decision was truly upon us.
Krund was less than ten days away.
There was no more time to delay.
I turned to look at Baran, who stood silently by my side.
His gaze was unwavering, fixed solely on me.
“…”
I couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the sight.
No matter how much we tried to wash it away, the habits of mercenaries remained ingrained in us.
Baran, as he stood now, had completely set aside his own opinion. He was waiting for my decision alone.
“…Hah.”
Another sigh escaped me.
As I struggled to decide, Borz spoke again.
“If you’re still considering, I’ll wait until tonight. Decide and let me know what you’ll do.”
“…”
I gave him a small nod of acknowledgment.
Without another word, I turned my horse and rode back to Stockpin.
– – – The End of The Chapter – – –
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